Saturday, January 28, 2012

It's time to face the music; I'm no longer your muse.

"In another life, I would make you stay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away."

Well. Made $400 today. I'd say it was pretty fun. 13 hour shifts are really exhausting though.

I sometimes wonder why I do the things I do...why I make the decisions I make. There never seems to be any logic behind it.
I'm really not staying in Maine. Chances are I'll never see him again. And I really think he was my One. Why is the chance of that not enough for me to go back? I want more than anything to build a life with him, what a beautiful dream. There I go again, running away when the walls come up...but I know he won't come with me. I will tell him how I feel though, that way there are really no regrets. But with time, almost all aches heal...

One of our cooks remind me horribly of someone I used to know...someone who really broke me apart, mentally and emotionally. Every time I look at him, my heart twinges with a familiar pain. I try to stay away from him, just because the memories that come back are old and unwanted...the guy is real nice, it's not his fault, it's just me.

1 comment:

  1. your young love, i was where you are with your guy a long time a go. i was 19, and engaged and we were ready to start a family and i thought i was ready. and you know time doesnt just heal things, it allows us to see things in a new light as things within us change.
    huggies.

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