Sick of it. Everything. I just want to crawl into a hole and disappear. Nothing makes me happy. I'm sick of the temporary. Sick of shitty horrible stupid people.
Thank God Mom is coming tomorrow. Or I'd probably commit murder.
Friday, May 25, 2012
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Every day holds a new surprise; a new beginning, a new end.
Why must I always end up working an abnormally long shift on the days where I wake up puking my brains out? It's so frustrating.
So now that shift is over, I'm finally home in bed and it is just now that I begin to feel better.
I need to learn how to call out. It's a strange concept to me, I should get acquainted with it though.
I just had a strange moment; I forgot where I was. And then got really confused as to why I wasn't in Bethel or at the Jordan. Was all of it just a dream? It feels so unreal...there's nothing to remind me of it here. And then I have moments where I feel like I never left in the first place. Odd.
Memorial Day weekend will be wonderful! My Momma and some kids are coming to visit...but the best part? I haven't said it out loud yet, for fear that it won't happen...
My bestbestbestest friend is coming home. P. A. S. It's been almost a year I think. So happy. Will be so lovely to see him.
So now that shift is over, I'm finally home in bed and it is just now that I begin to feel better.
I need to learn how to call out. It's a strange concept to me, I should get acquainted with it though.
I just had a strange moment; I forgot where I was. And then got really confused as to why I wasn't in Bethel or at the Jordan. Was all of it just a dream? It feels so unreal...there's nothing to remind me of it here. And then I have moments where I feel like I never left in the first place. Odd.
Memorial Day weekend will be wonderful! My Momma and some kids are coming to visit...but the best part? I haven't said it out loud yet, for fear that it won't happen...
My bestbestbestest friend is coming home. P. A. S. It's been almost a year I think. So happy. Will be so lovely to see him.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Maybe we could find new ways to fall apart.
I don't know why, but I've been so angry lately...these past few days have been insane. I've never yelled at so many people in three days. I just can't shake this temper and this frustration with everything.
I'm sick of suck-ass employees. You come to work, to work. Not to fucking watch a goddamn sports game. If that's not okay, get the fuck out.
I'm sick of being nice. I'm sick of giving you money for EVERYTHING, only to have you waste your own on your nails and tanning. And yet you keep asking, as if nothing's wrong, how is that possible? Yes, you give me a chair to sleep on, thanks. I pay you for that. That's it. It's fun to have a friend more interested in your money than you.
I'm sick of denying the urge to drive to you in the middle of the night, or call, or text. I'm sick of thinking about you at all. I drink you away, but you always come back. We are, were, and will be nothing, always.
I'm sick of watching your life get gradually worse. I hate it, because you're so amazing and you just need a break, but life just keeps throwing you curve balls. At least you have Larry. WINKY-FACE. ;)
So I couldn't take it, so tonight I'm in Dover with my cousin, because sometimes our own lives get to be too much, and you just have to run away from it all and forget it, if only for a little while.
Happy note? Duffy is home. Everything will be perfect now that she's back <3 beest friend.
I'm sick of suck-ass employees. You come to work, to work. Not to fucking watch a goddamn sports game. If that's not okay, get the fuck out.
I'm sick of being nice. I'm sick of giving you money for EVERYTHING, only to have you waste your own on your nails and tanning. And yet you keep asking, as if nothing's wrong, how is that possible? Yes, you give me a chair to sleep on, thanks. I pay you for that. That's it. It's fun to have a friend more interested in your money than you.
I'm sick of denying the urge to drive to you in the middle of the night, or call, or text. I'm sick of thinking about you at all. I drink you away, but you always come back. We are, were, and will be nothing, always.
I'm sick of watching your life get gradually worse. I hate it, because you're so amazing and you just need a break, but life just keeps throwing you curve balls. At least you have Larry. WINKY-FACE. ;)
So I couldn't take it, so tonight I'm in Dover with my cousin, because sometimes our own lives get to be too much, and you just have to run away from it all and forget it, if only for a little while.
Happy note? Duffy is home. Everything will be perfect now that she's back <3 beest friend.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
I find that the words are hard to describe.
Another night, home late after a long evening at work, and it seems that sleep doesn't want to have anything to do with me.
Alllllmost makes me miss a somebody that liked staying up late with me. 3:33?
Keene is beautiful, mostly I'm glad to be back, and then other times I just want to run.
I miss J. So much more every day. I almost regret saying the things I did...but he had to hear it, and I wasn't going to let him walk all over me and think it's okay. God, I miss everything about him.
I do love my boys, they make every day here a lil better. T, G, N. All'y'all!
& ET? Please stay strong, I miss you. I'll hurt you if you even think about giving up. <3
Alllllmost makes me miss a somebody that liked staying up late with me. 3:33?
Keene is beautiful, mostly I'm glad to be back, and then other times I just want to run.
I miss J. So much more every day. I almost regret saying the things I did...but he had to hear it, and I wasn't going to let him walk all over me and think it's okay. God, I miss everything about him.
I do love my boys, they make every day here a lil better. T, G, N. All'y'all!
& ET? Please stay strong, I miss you. I'll hurt you if you even think about giving up. <3
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