We drank a toast to innocence, we drank a toast to time.

New Years has never been a big deal to me. It was just a day where my family and I would make finger food and play games and stay up late and see the fireworks. The first year I spent New Years away from home was two years ago, and even though I was out having a good time, it wasn't very special. And then last year, again hanging out and having a good time, but nothing extraordinary (except for when P.S. took my keys away because I wanted to see T. Haha, I was so mad!). But I absolutely adore watching couples share their first kiss of the New Year, it's a beautiful thing, even if its fragile.

This past year has been a crazy ride, so many ups and downs, and I made it through, even when I thought I wouldn't. Here's to survival! I made so many new friends, met so many crazy people, and had so many amazing experiences. And for everything I lost, I made it back a hundred fold.

This year, I'm bringing in the New Year at the resort, helping make other peoples New Years Eve a better experience, and that sounds like a fantastic night to me!

To everyone: Be safe tonight, if you're drinking, keep it under control, there is no one else to blame for your mistakes if you drink too much. If you're driving, be seriously careful. And have a wonderful bringing-in of the New Year!

Good things come to those who pray.

"Believe in what your heart is saying
Hear the melody that's playing
There's no time to waste; there's so much to celebrate."

I was prepared to spend tonight crying my eyes out, alone in my room. Sometimes, there are sacrifices you have to make, and not going home for Christmas was one of them. Hardest thing I ever had to accept, I'd never been away from home on Christmas before.

And that was all before about 3:00PM today, when my boss told me I was off tomorrow, and to have a merry Christmas.

God loves me. It's amazing.
I almost started bawling in the middle of the restaurant. Embarrassing much? Ya.

Well, guess I'll get on the road :) I've got a big family to get home to. (And I didn't tell them. So when Vinn pulls into the driveway, it'll be like a Christmas wish come true.)

The magic of the holidays never ceases to amaze me; the love and joy it brings to everyone, even those who don't believe.

Hey, Jesus? Happy birthday, I love you.

Ow.

Yep. Ow. That's about it. This relationship I have with skiing is very violent and unhealthy...I should break it off...but as addictions go, I won't.
These bruises are...very large, and everything just hurts.
BUT IT WAS SO COOL. except the wiping out parts.

Got called into work tonight, was lovely, I should be hitting overtime this week, fantastic...I'd rather go home for Christmas, but alas, it won't happen.

Peaceout world. It's sleepytime.

She swears that there's no difference between the lies and compliments.

I feel like I'm over-saying this...but my job is awesome. Dude.
I got my season pass figured out today, and the cousin is coming down tonight, so we're all going to hit the slopes tomorrow and Thursday :D

I won't be able to go home for Christmas...kind of heart-breaking, but necessary. It'll be the first Christmas away from home...

The job is going so well, I love every aspect of it so far. It'll be nice to have the next few days off though.

Anyway, just updating for the sake of updating.

I'm feelin' like a star, ya can't stop my shine.

So I started at the resort today, and it was SO. MUCH. FUN!
My coworkers are super cool and super fun, and super nice! This one lady, she's hotter than most 20 year olds I know (and she looks 20) and she's like 40. WHAAT.
This is going to be the most spectacular winter, I can't wait for the season to really kick in and for things to get wild.
20 dollar tips are regular, no big deal. I can live with that.
I'm sitting in the lobby now, waiting for Flower to get out. She started her Valle position today, also making bank. We's be livin' the life duude.

The only thing that would make this better, is if Kisses came to visit. And then I could say I was in Heaven on Earth. :)

Dude, the food? SO GOOD. I had a steak tip salad with...gosh I don't even know what was on it, but hello delicious!

My life? It's awesome.

That's the funny thing about life; it'll go on...without you.

I'm all settled in my room! It's a lovely blue, the bed is awesome, and there's a full-length mirror! Brother and his lady and I made a great dinner tonight, and cookies and tea and When Harry Met Sally afterwards!
Great movie, and it got me to thinking that maybe it'll take a few run-ins with each other, but eventually Kisses and I will fall in love and be together forever ! And I'm willing to wait for that. I miss seeing him every day...there's nothing to look forward to in my morning anymore, except his texts :)

Hehe, Frances and Kitty :) I like it. Alooot.

But you, I don't like. Ass, get over yourself, throwing around words like 'love' just because you can't handle rejection isn't cool. And I already know I'm beautiful, get some new material. Oh look you're online...lets see if you contact me.

Orientation in the morning, gosh am I nervous! Wish me luck!

Well it's all so overrated, not saying how you feel.

"So just give me one good reason
Tell me why I should stay
'Cause I don't wanna waste another moment
Saying things we never meant to say."

And just like that, things have changed. A simple weekend visit to NH turns into a bunch of life-changing experiences and it's honestly mind-blowing how unexpected all of them were. It's not enough to come back for good, but it's enough to get my attention.
The morning sun is beautiful, reflecting off the windows of down-town. It's been so long since I've really enjoyed a sunrise, it takes me back to a better time where I had less worries.
And once again, that magic I felt earlier this summer, has returned. It surrounds me, fills my heart, strengthens my soul, and reminds that no matter how ridiculous this life is, no matter how awful or good it is, it's all meant to be, and it was inescapable. And as for the 'How did I get here!?" part? Well, also unexplainable and unavoidable.
Thank you to my pizza crew; it was lovely working with you guys again :) I miss it all the time.
Thanks to my friends, especially one, cause she is the shit and I wish I could see more of her and her sexy self. (yes, you, kitty.)

Until next time, keep yourself safe New Hampshire, and I'll be awaiting my next visit eagerly !

The show must go on.

The big day is here.
I'm all packed, I move down tomorrow.

And Grammie has passed on as of 30 minutes ago. :(
How am I supposed to go to work tomorrow for my last day and pretend like I'm happy at all? I'm trying so hard but all I can think about is how she won't be there anymore, and it makes me cry at just the thought. I can't focus on anything else.
The worst part? How much he's hurting. P.S., stay strong :( I wish I could heal your heart and make it all go away...I hate that I can't...I don't know if I can handle seeing you cry, it breaks my heart.

Hugs from Jesus please.

And another exciting chapter begins...

As expected, I got the job. I'm going to be a waitress at the fanciest restaurant at the resort! You would generally make about 100$ in tips in one night. Awesome? I thought so.

Sent the landlord an email, waiting to hear back on details about which room I can have (I want the upstairs pink one!)

Calling my boss to give her my notice. Letting my church folk know I'm leaving.
It's pretty exciting...I wish my parents were better at pretending they were excited for me. :/
I knew it'd be hard to leave once I got here, but this is only two hours away, I'll be home for Christmas probably, it'll all work out.
And I'll have a blast!! Ski resorts are SO exciting! And I'll be living with my brother and his lady, which will be fantastic also. Already found the cutest little coffee shop / bakery !

And I offer no sympathy for that; better off I sparkle on my own.

"Fall away to the sound of my heart to your beat
Melancholy and cool, kind of bitter sweet
Love on repeat
I'm echoing all your philosophies."

So I'm not sure what my problem is. But regardless, I am driving down to the resort tomorrow for an interview at the super fancy restaurant there. This is very promising.
Why? I'm not sure.
I'm restless here.
And there is no way I would justify staying at a job like this just for the sake of a man.
And yet, I still haven't told him.


I'm really gonna miss his smile.