It's Christmastime; there's no need to be afraid.

Here we all are again, together on Christmas Eve. I never used to think of the day where we all couldn't be together for Christmas, but now I've found that it's a blessing. It's probably one of the last times for a while...

Alex and I drove up from NH to be here, always a fun 250 mile drive. We made it in time for Christmas Eve dinner, and now we're watching It's A Wonderful Life.

Time is passing so much more quickly now, I feel like every year flies away twice as fast. It's harder to appreciate the little things, as hard as I try.

The courts gave us the month of December off for the holidays, which is nice. It would've been an awkward time otherwise.
But starting in January...things get complicated once more. But it's not the time to think of that stuff.

It's a time for cookies and candy and chocolates and colored lights and warm fires and tea and cocoa and hugs and kisses.

I miss my Lisa, I hope she's okay...=(
And to my boy, it's still you, and I can't wait to see you soon, as always !

I live for distraction.

I wish I could put how I feel into words. Maybe then I could get it out of my system, if only for a few minutes. It would be like putting down a fifty pound backpack after hiking a mountain, or sitting down after running a 5k marathon.

A relief.

It's been around 8 months since this all started, and I will admit that it's not as incapacitating as it used to be, but that doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt. Nobody should ever have something in their life that incapacitates them, breaks them beyond repair, ruins them.
But we do.

What good is love if it always goes away?

When do you reach the point in your life where suddenly, nothing is good enough? You're unhappy with every aspect, you reach out for other people, other things, and you decide to give up the life you had. How do you reach that point? And is it permanent? When is love no longer enough?

I've joined the world of the true adults; I am now 21. It's very nice, I love going out to the bars with my friends after a long night of work.

I went to Boston the other day with a girl friend of mine, it was quite the ride. It was definitely one of those 'yolo' moments, 'cause if we were sane people, we wouldn't have done it. But we came back home alive, with good stories to tell.

I just hope and pray that I never forget how important the people I love are to me, and I hope I never fall out of love with them, because there is nobody in this world better than these.

Jumping ship.

There's a special place in Hell for those individuals who drag others into situations they aren't happy in, force them to make decisions they don't agree with, and then decide they're done with it so they take off.

Special place in hell for that captain who jumps ship and leaves her crew to deal with the mess.