It's good to let you in again, you're not alone, how you been?

...didn't see that coming. Did you plan this? Is this what you expected to happen? I wonder, but I'm not brave enough to ask.
Now you're going away again...you'd tell me to hold on to the good times we had, but all I can think of is how we won't have any more times...not for a long time...
What if, by some crazy chance, I fell in love with you without realizing it? I think I'm realizing it now...

And if I told you...? Nah.

Anyway, NH is great. My job is still super, it's just such a good time.

Labor Day weekend is coming up! The Mothership and some siblings are coming down for that 12 hour dance, cannot wait to be with them again! <3


"No more
Countin' down the hours
No more
Wishin' you were here
I stopped believin',
Although Journey told me 'don't'
Before I call it a day,
Maybe this'll be my year."

Man, you wouldn't believe the most amazing thing that can come from some terrible lies.

I definitely don't remember being on this emotional rollercoaster back when I was a teenager. And I know why.
I just hate that I won't accept why.
It's sick, to know how to be happy and love life, and to completely turn your back on it because you don't want to have to try.
But at the moment, I am happy. PS has been home for a few weeks, and spending all this time with him reminded me of how life used to be, back in high school, back in a stress-free world.
GC told me his opinion the other day. Told me I just had to settle somewhere and make lasting contacts. My life is difficult because of the way I choose to live it.

"So this is it?
I sold my soul for this?
Washed my hands of that for this?
I miss my Mom and Dad for this?"

It's for the best you didn't listen.

You say you're still waiting for me.
I said it would be a long wait.

I'm currently sitting at the library, and a little girl with pretty curls is reading me a book. She keeps hitting me to pay attention.

So the application for the Australia au pair is still on my desktop...trying to decide if it'll be a financially safe option or not. Probably not.

Oh well. I had a long talk with an old friend the other day. Made me realize a lot about my life, things I'm doing right, and things I'm doing wrong. Mostly the latter.